sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
