Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
