Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
