we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You are the jesus of drinking
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize