do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
