Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
