i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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