he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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