Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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