I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize