I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize