i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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