The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
