Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
