it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
