Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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