Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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