That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
