tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The struggles of a small town man whore
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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