Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
