can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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