What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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