You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
