Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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