i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
