I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
