I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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