apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
