Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
