I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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