I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
40s are totally the cure
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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