she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
