I queefed so loud it echoed.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
