I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i drank out of a bidet.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Randomize
