I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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