the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
