So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
