I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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