Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
