Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
