She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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