So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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