So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
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so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
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So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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