spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i wish my penis had a tongue
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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