The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I could make wine with my vomit
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
