A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I have grass duct taped all over my body
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
