i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
