WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
