Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
