brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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