just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
