the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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