dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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