Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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