I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
