Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Randomize
