Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We are two peas in an std pod
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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