Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Randomize
