theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
