Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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