I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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