did you get engaged???
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
