oh god the rape fog is back!
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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