These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
