oh god the rape fog is back!
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Don't make out with my wife yet
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
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