Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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