The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
