sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
