It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
