wakey wakey hands off snakey
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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